She would have good days and bad days but for most of those years, they were all bad days. I cannot describe how frustrating and depressing it felt for me. Knowing the years kept passing and her life had no color what so ever. Without knowing it, I was been exposed to this for a reason as well. I got such a profound understanding of how self-sabotage, depression, anxiety and many symptoms scream for help when there's something more that needs to be addressed underneath the surface.
We started the Wheel of Medicine together. These is a year long course which strips you from everything you think you know about yourself and allows you to enter your Higher State of being and become a healer. The process was intense for all of us but I knew for my sister it was just, impossible. It was so difficult for her to face the pain she was feeling and I didn't know how to be there for her. Our personalities clashed, our energies clashed, our relationship was painful and filled with resentment, fear and anger. For years I honestly thought I would never feel a true connection for her. The love was there but when you fight with someone all the time so much negativity is thrown your way you forget how to access that love.
The Wheel of Medicine prepares you to heal patients in the most profound ways, on a spiritual level. Once in the training we learned that all sorts of energetic parasites, entities and evil spirits unfortunately exist. Not only they exist but they are very aggressive sometimes. My sister received ALL the procedures in the book, several times and things didn't seem to get better. Instead she became more and more ill. Something was destroying her, fast and it was no longer something we could sigh about and remain crossed armed. Something needed to be done or she would die, I could feel it. Her body was no longer cooperating with her, her mind was lost... I cried myself to sleep for months and months as doctors seemed to do all exams they could to find what was wrong and they all came back perfect, no sign of physical imbalance what so ever.
The level of frustration and despair we went through as a family is something that, I honestly never thought I could handle. Our teacher, a very wise and kind medicine woman, got out of her way to help us and did everything in her power to uncover and heal what was going on. She did a very profound Shamanic Healing procedure on her and about 2 days later the doctors discovered she had a Massive Brain Tumor. Everyone was shocked about how it could've gotten so big without the common symptoms showing up. Our teacher assured a very disturbed spirit force had been with her for all these years and had gathered enough energy to materialize this kind of tumor and blocked doctors from finding it.
This was shocking enough and the pain we felt was unmeasurable. This might sound crazy, I know. It was. But what happened next was a confirmation that these crazy things actually happen sometimes and that it is very important to be aware that sickness might not JUST be sickness. The body gets sick when our spirit is sick or undergoing some sort of external influence. A healthy spirit will make sure the body they are living in is healthy, against all medical logic.
Anyway, my sister was taken into surgery right away, as soon as they realized what was happening. Doctors assured that it was the worst case scenario, the tumor was massive and it was aggressively spreading to all of the areas of the brain.The surgery took about 13 hours, the longest I've ever lived. During this time I managed to regret every fight, every judgement and torture myself to the point of exhaustion. The doctors assured us she had very little possibility to wake up after the surgery and they assured if she did, she would no longer be herself. She wouldn't be able to walk or talk, maybe she would be blind, there was no way of knowing.
The pain I felt broke me. It broke me to a point in which the only thing I could do was surrender to God's will. Maybe this was her way out, maybe she wanted to stop living. Maybe this was her time. Maybe before coming into this life, this was her destiny. I felt like I no longer had a heart, I felt numb and dead as I gave this situation permission to flow the divine plan in Gods eyes.
When she woke up 3 days later, speaking, remembering, moving, walking... (Just as I write this, tears start flowing so easily.) It was the best moment of my entire life to realize she remembered me. She was herself. Against all odds, against all diagnosis. The doctors where shocked they had no way to explain how this could be possible. It was one of those odd medical miracles you see on TV. My sister was back and she was smiling. She was alive and she was herself.
Our teacher told us sometimes, in very extreme cases like this one, all the negativity that was living in her system for so long materialized into a physical form so it could be removed completely liberating her soul and body once and for all. She survived because she was truly liberated from these energies that were living in her system and given a chance to live as her and her only.
As the months went by, she still had to struggle with the fight against cancer (yeah, did I mention the tumor was not only huge, aggressive, in her brain but it was also, cancer.) Even through the struggle we could easily realize how she was positive and joyful and happy. She was someone she hadn't been in the last 10 years. Slowly she regained her personality, her confidence, her attitude. She was so sure she was already healed for good she consciously left the quimotbherapy. Less than a year from the diagnosis, she is officially 100% cancer free. Against all odds.
We all have a unique perspective, we have an obligation to share whatever we learn & experience with others so they can all benefit.